just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
