I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Porn is love you can see.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
