I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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