Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
last night I used snow as a chaser
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize