Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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