Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
