good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
