Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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