Just cropdusted the office
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize