Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
