he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
