my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
