Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
