All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
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