So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
