At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
