So drunk its hurt
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
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Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
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So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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