I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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