My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
