Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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