do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
