I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize