I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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