Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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