drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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