is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
