I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
