I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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