so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
