haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
