so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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