Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
