He is such a slut. More and more my type.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
