Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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