I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
As shirtless as possible
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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