i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
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