im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
