Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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