Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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