Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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