Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
