In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
