every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
