I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
