11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
