I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
