you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
