just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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