Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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