It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
