dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I think your dad took our porno
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
