If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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