This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
