I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
