I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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