A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
