People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
