yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
