he thought i was a dude.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
