the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
