Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
