Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Randomize
