No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
