And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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