I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
